No wonder so many people are single. A few years ago, I spoke to a group of high-schoolers about the Jewish idea of love. I'll define it, and you raise your hands if you agree.
This article was originally published on August 12, Bumping this one to the top to make sure it gets read again today. You might be a terrible friend and not even realize it. That should scare you. Right now you should be sweating profusely, pacing the floor, and asking yourself whether or not you know how to be a good friend.
Sometimes our actions and the words that escape our mouths stop going through a filter. We get so used to our friends that we become insensitive to the things we say and do. Sure, that level of comfort can be a good thing, but at the same time a lot of ugliness can start leaking out.
Check out some of the signs below and see how many of these apply to you.
After a while you start assuming that because you think a certain way, your friends and others do too. Eventually, you begin to blame others and talk about how they went and did something even though they never did. This gets annoying and yes, your friends do notice this.
You start criticizing or blaming them for everything. Everything wrong is because of them. Then you start letting them know, even non-verbally, how you feel about the situation. This is how you lose friends.
You only spend time with them when you need something. There is always a reason to call or text. You evade all responsibility, leaving them to handle it all. You never think about how they may feel.
Your words hurt like knives and you might not even know it or care, because you have a disregard for how they may feel. So many things to be mindful of! Are you losing track? You could begin to wear down the friendship if the other person feels like you constantly show off or downplay their accomplishments.
People have enough insecurities and self-esteem issues as is. Tossing in a question to make it seem like you care is insincere. You never stick to your word.
Punctuality goes into this too. Send them a text, a phone call even better, or surprise them by showing up at their front door.
Make an excuse to spend time with them. It just means showing you want them to be okay. Some people are very good at hiding their negative emotions. Masks get heavy when you wear them for so long and sometimes you forget how to take it off.
I used to put on a brave face when I was going through rough times. Know when to be serious and when to be goofy. No cheap attempt at being funny to avoid the real issues. Be mature and aim at finding common ground instead of trying to divert the attention elsewhere.
Go the extra mile when they ask for help. When they ask for your opinion or help on something that means something.FREE COURSE THE WORLD, THE JEWS AND THE SCIENCE OF HUMAN SURVIVAL Anti-Semitism, division, separation, violent conflicts and a general breakdown of the institutions of human society.
August 4, was a warm, sunny day in Bridgewater, Connecticut, but in our family’s country home, Frog Hollow, there was a chill in the air. Are you ready to get started? Choose your package, and we will begin today!
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A Socratic perspective on the relationship between ignorance, human evil, and the examined life. You project your own negative qualities onto them. After a while you start assuming that because you think a certain way, your friends and others do too.